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Time To Do Some Lawn Work

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 13 May 2016
Hits: 2948

What's the best part of gardening?

Getting down and dirty with my hoes.

Now You'll Love Math Class

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 12 May 2016
Hits: 3272

Sex is like math. Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, & pray you don't multiply.

And if your partner is really good she'll have no problem finding the root!

Now That's A Mess

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 11 May 2016
Hits: 3183

I once went on date with a girl who didn't swallow.

There was soup everywhere!

Open Wide

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 10 May 2016
Hits: 2754

A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a bitch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued." The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you."

He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?"

The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yeah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Ruled By A Dictator

My dick's so big it was overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.

Like Father, Like Son

If my son farts or has his hands down his pants, my wife smiles and says, “Like father, like son!”

Yesterday we caught him screwing the neighbor, but for some reason it wasn’t so funny when I said it.

Advice For Newlyweds

Keep this in mind... a honeymoon should only be for six days. Why? Because seven days make a whole week.

In fact, don't go on your honeymoon for longer than 5 days, or you will get a weak end.

Just sayin'...

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