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Time To Do Some Lawn Work

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 13 May 2016
Hits: 2905

What's the best part of gardening?

Getting down and dirty with my hoes.

Now You'll Love Math Class

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 12 May 2016
Hits: 3203

Sex is like math. Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, & pray you don't multiply.

And if your partner is really good she'll have no problem finding the root!

Now That's A Mess

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 11 May 2016
Hits: 3138

I once went on date with a girl who didn't swallow.

There was soup everywhere!

Open Wide

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 10 May 2016
Hits: 2709

A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a bitch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued." The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you."

He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?"

The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yeah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Back To Her Place

A guy takes his date back to her place. He gets her up to her bedroom where he sees a wall full of fluffy toys.

After he fucks her he asks her: "How was I?"

She says: "Take anything from the bottom shelf."

But, It's Just So Small!

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breath through something that small?"

I'd Like To Point This Out

My wife came in complaining about me never lifting a finger around the house.

So I did - the middle one.

And that's when the fight started...

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