Do You Not Have Any Shame?

: Created: 14 May 2016; Hits: 2671

So I went to the doctor for a physical and he told me I should stop jerking off. I asked him why should I stop?

He told me: "Because you're at a physical."

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And That's Why I Went Hungry

Little Johnny goes to school. His first class is English, and the teacher wants the kids to say what they ate for breakfast and spell it.

Jenny raises her hand and says: "'toast' -- t o a s t." Bobby says: "my turn teacher 'eggs' -- e g g s." Little Johnny shouts out" "'fucking nothing' -- f u c k i n g n o t h i n g."

The teacher is furious and makes Little Johnny stand in the corner till the end of the English lesson.

The next class is geography. The teacher puts a map up and asks the class who knows where the Polish border lies.

Little Johnny shoots up his hand and says: "He's at home on top of my mom. That's why I got fucking nothing for breakfast!"

Not So Bon Vivant

What do you call a guy who expects to get laid on the second date?

Slow.

Recipe For Success

4 shots of tequila & I bang my wife doggie style.

2 makes her horny & 2 more gets her out on the front lawn.