What is more messed up than fingering your sister?
Pulling your finger out and finding your dad's wedding ring.
The difference between a redneck & poor white trash? Redneck knocks his sister up, white trash marries her.
How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex?
Wipe your dick on the curtains.
I was talking to my wife about what might happen after I died. I told her: Promise me one thing... that 6 months after I die you'll marry Bernie." She said: "I thought you hated Bernie."
"I do"
And that's when the fight started...