Things Have Gone Too Far

: Created: 17 May 2016; Hits: 2800

What is more messed up than fingering your sister?

Pulling your finger out and finding your dad's wedding ring.

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A Musician

What do you call a musician with no girlfriend?

Homeless.

There's No Substitute

I hate it when a girl tries to offer me a lame consolation prize. 'Cause girls will say things like: "Oh, we're not going to have sex, but I'll give you a hand job."

Hey! Newsflash: I have hands... they have the job... the position is filled... I don't need to outsource the work... alright? If you got a pussy for the job, we can talk -- 'cause I am always hiring.

Wasn't The Sex Ed Class I Had

Here we are in Sex Education Class. The teacher says, "All right, class, I want you to go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for having sex."

The next day she calls on Little Johnny in the back, "Well, John, how many positions did you come up with?" Little Johnny says, "Seventy-three."

The teacher says, "Oh, my goodness...uh...very good, John, very good..."

Next she calls on Becky in the front and says, "All right, Becky, how about you?" Becky says, "Gee, teacher, I only came up with one...where the guy just lays on top of the girl."

From the back Little Johnny yells out, "Seventy-four."