What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The hooker sucks harder when you smack her.
Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?
He changed his mind. Decided to stick it out for one more year!
My wife was amazed to read about a farmer who claimed he sold a cow with a pussy like a woman for $10,000.
I told her: "That's not amazing, that's irony. Here I am with you... a pussy like a cow, and you ain't worth shit."
And that's when the fight started...
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look too big.
I told her not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.
