What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The hooker sucks harder when you smack her.
I told my wife: "Honey, I don't like how you look with the new glasses on." She said: "Sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses."
I said: "Yeah, but I do."
And that's when the fight started...
What's the definition of a lady?
Someone who doesn't drink or smoke, and the only time she curses is when your dick slips out.
Why'd the bride slide down the bannister on her honeymoon?
To warm up her husband's dinner.
