What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The hooker sucks harder when you smack her.
What should you do if your sister-in-law sits on your glasses & breaks them?
Take them off next time.
A college kid is fucking an old lady. She says, "It may be Winter on top, but it's Summer in the furnace."
He says, "Yeah? Well, if you don't put a little Spring in your ass, we're gonna be here till Fall."
Guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner licking its balls. The guy looks at the bartender and says: "Man I whish I could do that!"
The bartender tells him: "Better try petting him first!"
