Every Frickin' Joke

Take Out Chinese Anyone?

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 21 May 2016; Hits: 3330

A Chinese guy calls his boss and says: "Me sick... Can`t come to work today." The Boss says: "No problem. When I'm sick, I fuck my wife... try that!"

Two hours later the Chinese guy rings back and says: "Me better now... you got a nice house!"

Don't ... Stop!

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 20 May 2016; Hits: 3553

Mom giving advice to her daughter: "If a boy touches your boobies say 'don't' and if he touches your pussy say 'stop.'

Daughter's reply: "oh mom, I already know that. And last night my boyfriend touched both so I said 'don’t stop!'

Get Your Nails Done Too

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 19 May 2016; Hits: 2505

I love dating manicurists and hair stylists.

One does hand jobs, the other does blow jobs!

Have You Upgraded To 4K?

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 18 May 2016; Hits: 2726

At a party the other night I was asked how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently "In HD" was not the best answer.

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Sexting

I woke up this morning with a text that seemed to have been sent to me by accident. It read,

"Hi... be home soon. Love ya, Dave xxx"

Being Valentine's Day I thought I'd have a bit of fun so I texted the guy back:

"Don't bother, I don't love you. You're a son of a bitch and I've been banging your brother."

I couldn't wait for the reply, then it came:

"You OK mom?"

Do You Not Have Any Shame?

So I went to the doctor for a physical and he told me I should stop jerking off. I asked him why should I stop?

He told me: "Because you're at a physical."

Too Damn Polite, Eh?

Why don't Canadians attend orgies?

Too many thank-you notes to write afterwards.