Every Frickin' Joke

Take Out Chinese Anyone?

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 21 May 2016; Hits: 3594

A Chinese guy calls his boss and says: "Me sick... Can`t come to work today." The Boss says: "No problem. When I'm sick, I fuck my wife... try that!"

Two hours later the Chinese guy rings back and says: "Me better now... you got a nice house!"

Don't ... Stop!

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 20 May 2016; Hits: 3839

Mom giving advice to her daughter: "If a boy touches your boobies say 'don't' and if he touches your pussy say 'stop.'

Daughter's reply: "oh mom, I already know that. And last night my boyfriend touched both so I said 'don’t stop!'

Get Your Nails Done Too

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 19 May 2016; Hits: 2785

I love dating manicurists and hair stylists.

One does hand jobs, the other does blow jobs!

Have You Upgraded To 4K?

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 18 May 2016; Hits: 2989

At a party the other night I was asked how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently "In HD" was not the best answer.

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Not A Fair Trade

My wife saw a Craigslist ad where a guy was offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium. She looked at me and asked: "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"

"Absolutely not," I told her. "The season's more than half over!"

And that's when the fight started...

On The Parade Route

Two women are stuck on one side of the boulevard as a parade passes through... complete with floats, a marching band, and hot air balloons.

One gal asks the other: "What's this all about?" Her friend tells her: "It's the gay pride parade."

The first gal replies: "Yeah. Well I suck dick and take it up the ass. Where's my fuckin' parade?"

Only The Best For My Princess

A father has three daughters who are all getting married on the same day.

He asks his oldest daughter, "Whom do you wish to marry?" She says, "Father, I wish to marry the man with three dragons on his chest."

He walks over to his second daughter and asks her the same question. She replies, "Father, I wish to marry the man with two dragons on his chest."

He then goes to his youngest daughter and asks her the same question. She replies, "I wish to marry the man with one draggin' on the floor!"