Every Frickin' Joke

Take Out Chinese Anyone?

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 21 May 2016; Hits: 3676

A Chinese guy calls his boss and says: "Me sick... Can`t come to work today." The Boss says: "No problem. When I'm sick, I fuck my wife... try that!"

Two hours later the Chinese guy rings back and says: "Me better now... you got a nice house!"

Don't ... Stop!

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 20 May 2016; Hits: 3927

Mom giving advice to her daughter: "If a boy touches your boobies say 'don't' and if he touches your pussy say 'stop.'

Daughter's reply: "oh mom, I already know that. And last night my boyfriend touched both so I said 'don’t stop!'

Get Your Nails Done Too

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 19 May 2016; Hits: 2882

I love dating manicurists and hair stylists.

One does hand jobs, the other does blow jobs!

Have You Upgraded To 4K?

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 18 May 2016; Hits: 3071

At a party the other night I was asked how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently "In HD" was not the best answer.

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More Than One Reason

A young man got a new job running the cash register at a general store. The old store owner promised he would teach him how to be a salesman and up-sell. "Watch how I do it," he said to his new hire.

As a customer put a bag of grass seed on the counter, the old-timer said to him, "When you plant those seeds your grass is gonna start growing and you're going to need a new lawnmower to cut it." "You know," said the customer, "I think you're right. I do need a new mower. Sure, I'll take one."

The new kid said, "Wow. I think I see what you mean. Let me try one." The next customer in line stepped up to the counter and set down a box of tampons. The young kid said, "You know, you should get you a new lawnmower to go with that." The man asked the kid, "What the hell are you talking about?"

The wanna-be salesman told him, "It looks like your weekend's shot, so you might as well cut the grass."

She's The Boss

A third-grade teacher is getting to know her class on the first day of school. She turns to one little girl and asks, "So what does your daddy do?"

The little girl replies, "Whatever Mommy tells him to."

Bulaaaah!

How can you tell if you're at a bulemic bachelor party?

The cake jumps out of the girl.