Bad Habits Are Hard To Break

: Created: 22 January 2017; Hits: 2025

Two guys were in a bar. The first one said: "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."

"What is she doing?", his buddy asks.

"Waiting for me to get home."

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The Price of Adventure

A businessman returns from Bangkok. After a few days he notices strange growth on his dick. He sees several doctors and they all tell him: “You've been screwing around over in Thailand. This is very common over there, but there is really no cure. We'll have to cut it off.” The man panics, but figures if it is common in Thailand they must know how to cure it. So he goes back and sees a doctor in Bangkok.

The Thai doctor examines him and says, "Looks like you've been fooling around in my country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other doctors?”

The man replies, “Yes a few in the USA.”

The doctor says, "I bet they told you it had to be cut off."

The man answers, "Yes!"

The doctor smiles and nods, "That is not correct. It will fall off by itself."

Please, Tell Me What You Really Think

A woman is checking out in the grocery line. She places one apple, a small ready-made salad, a frozen dinner, and a pint of ice cream on the conveyor.

The guy ringing everything up smiles at her and says: "I'll bet your single." The woman looks back and asks: "How did you know, by my choice of food?."

The guy replies: "No, 'cause you're ugly."

Not The Smartest Guys

Did you hear about the two guys in Minnesota who froze to death in their car at the drive-in theater?

They went to see "Closed for the Season."