What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "
"No, sweetheart," he answered. "Some begin with 'If I'm elected.'"
Why can't a woman ever be satisfied?
Because no man has a dick made out of chocolate that shoots money.
Why is a drunk at a massage parlor like a bumper sticker?
No matter how you pull it they're hard to get off.
