What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Claus wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
What do a wife & a condom have in common?
They both spend wayyy more time in your wallet than on your dick.
I turned my whole life around.
I used to be depressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and depressed.
