How is pubic hair like parsley?
You push it to the side before you start eating.
Guy catches his son jerking off: "Son don't do that, you'll go blind."
Son shouts back "Pop, I'm over here."
Why were there only two pallbearers at the homeless guy's funeral?
There are only two handles on a garbage can.
Why is sex with your spouse like a convenience store?
There's not much variety, but what else is open at three in the morning.
