What's the difference between a girl who spits and a girl who swallows?
A wedding ring.
My wife saw a Craigslist ad where a guy was offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium. She looked at me and asked: "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"
"Absolutely not," I told her. "The season's more than half over!"
And that's when the fight started...
How are nail polish and panties the same?
They both come off with a little alcohol.
How can you tell a blind guy at a nude beach?
It's not hard.
