A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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TGIF

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Here's Dick Johnson's secret to a happy marriage.

Two times a week, my wife and I go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Bodily Fluids

Why do you get paid more at The Sperm Bank than at The Blood Bank?

Sperm is handmade.

Where Else?

Two old folks were flirting at a senior's singles mingle. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a romantic night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?"

The old woman replied shyly, "Depends... ."

"Depends on what?" he asked. "On my ass -- where else?!"

We Don't Sell To Your Type

A blonde walks up to a salesman and says, "I want to buy this TV."

He says, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

She goes for a complete make-over...she gets a haircut and new hair color, a new outfit, and puts on big sunglasses. She waits a few days and then she walks up to the salesman and says, "I want to buy this TV."

He says, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

She says., "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

He says, "Because that's a microwave."