Another One Into A Bar

Baby seal walks into a bar.

Bartender says "What'll it be?"

Baby seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club."

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

I used to get a hard-on just watching my wife eat a banana.

Now I only get a hard-on if she's choking on it.

Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?

They're called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!