My son gets behind the wheel of the car to take his first driving lesson. As mom gets in the passenger side he rolls down the window and asks: "Does this car have passenger side air bags?"
I just bought the latest sleep-number smart bed. It detects when you're screwing your wife, locks the front door and turns on the stereo so your neighbors can't hear you. My number is 69.
Mark and Alex are hanging out at home one cold winter day. Alex asks his friend "It's fuckin' freezin' in here. Can you go upstairs and get me my fuckin' slippers?"
So Alex goes upstairs to get the slippers and he comes across Mark's hot 21-year-old twin sisters. He tells them, "Your brother just sent me up her to have sex with both of you."
One of the sisters replies, "Yeah. Prove it!"
So Alex yells downstairs, "Hey Mark! Both of them?!"
Mark yells back, "Of course! What's the point of fuckin' one?!"