Where Shall We Go?

My wife wanted to go on a pleasure trip.

I told her: "Great, let's take your mother to the airport."

And that's when the fight started...

What do you get when cross an attorney with a feminist?

A lawyer who won't fuck you.

Why can't lesbians adopt a child?

Because they don't serve minors to lickers.

A priest gets a flat tire fixed.

As the car's coming down on the lift, the priest says to the mechanic, "Are the lug nuts tight?"

The mechanic says, "Tight as a nun's cunt."

The priest says, "You better give them another turn."