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Every Frickin' Joke

The Miracle Of Hanukkah

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2509

How does one explain the miracle of Hanukkah to todays generation?

Tell them that it's like if they charged their smartphone to last for 1 day, but it ended up lasting 8 days!

Until I Met A Guy Who Had No Feet...

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2280

A guy wakes up in the hospital: "Doc, I can't feel my legs!"

Doc: "That's because we amputated your arms."

What's For Dinner?

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2221

Why'd the bride slide down the bannister on her honeymoon?

To warm up her husband's dinner.

It's Been Said

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2300

It's been said if you bend over & put your ear to someone's leg you can hear "What the fuck are you doing?"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Kosher for Passover

A husband sees his wife is getting ready to prepare for Passover. "This year I really want to help out." he tells her, "Whatever you need me to do, ask... I will do it." His wife tells him, "Don't take this the wrong way, but the best thing you can do to help is to leave the house and let me get my work done without any interruptions." So the husband does exactly what she asks and leaves.

Three hours later his wife hears him come back in. She shouts, "I thought I told that the best way to help me would be to leave." He responds, "You expect me to help the whole day?"

And that's when the fight started...

Survival Skills

Three nuns and a priest are stranded in the desert. Luckily, they come across a camel. So they all jump on and head off to find help. After a while the camel is totally exhausted and falls down dead.

The priest says " Well sisters, this looks like the end. Do any of you have any last request?"

The first nun says "Father I have never had sex before." So the priest thinking this is their last day on earth, says OK and has sex with her.

The second nun says " I too father have never had sex before." So the priest thinks well, why not, and has sex with her too.

The priest then asked the third nun if her request is the same. She says "Not exactly father. I would just like to know what is that between your legs."

The priest says "Sister, that is a penis. It was put there by god to give the gift of life."

The last nun then responds "Great! Stick it in the camel and let's get the fuck out of here."

No Advice Needed

Little Johnny was on a park bench stuffing all of his Halloween candy in his mouth. An old lady walked up, saying: "Son, don't you know that eating all of that candy will rot your teeth, give you acne, and make you sick?"

"My grandfather lived to be 105 years old!" replied Johnny.

"Did he eat five candy bars at a sitting?" the old lady retorted.

"No," said Johnny, "but he minded his own freakin' business."