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Hold On There Little Fella

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 20 December 2014
Hits: 2438

A midget whips out his two-foot dick.

The whore he's with says, "Oh, no, you ain't putting that thing in me. I'll kiss it."

"Fuck you" he tells her. "I can do that myself."

My Last Gig

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 19 December 2014
Hits: 2853

You know old Dick tries to stay pretty busy. Last week I did a benefit for the "Tempura House"... that's a shelter for lightly battered women.

She Loves That Puppet

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 18 December 2014
Hits: 2661

How do Cinderella and Pinnochio make love?

She sits on his face and he tells lies.

Pulled Over For A Reason

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 17 December 2014
Hits: 2340

A cop pulls a guy over and gives him the breathalyzer test.

The cop is so shocked he says: "Jesus man... you are REALLY drunk."

The guy looks up and says; "Thank God. I thought my steering went out."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Maybe He'll Propose?

I overheard my girlfriend on the phone say to her friend she wants to get engaged on Valentine's Day.

Hope she finds someone nice.

Ask Sherwin Williams

They finally came out new a new blonde paint.

It's not real bright, but it's cheap... and it spreads easy.

I Hereby Sentence You

A husband gets home from his day in court on a traffic offense and his wife asks: "So, how did it go?"

The husband replies: "Well honey, I ended up in front of Judge Calloway, you remember, the judge who married us. Turns out he remembered me too... so I pleaded 'guilty with explanation' and he only gave me a small fine. That was way better than the last time, when you and I were in there together. That time he gave me life without the possibility of parole."

And that's when the fight started...

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