It's Been Said

It's been said if you bend over & put your ear to someone's leg you can hear "What the fuck are you doing?"

How do men sort out their laundry?

Filthy, and filthy but wearable.

A third-grade teacher is getting to know her class on the first day of school. She turns to one little girl and asks, "So what does your daddy do?"

The little girl replies, "Whatever Mommy tells him to."

Last night, I finally realized a longtime fantasy... I came all over my girlfriend's face.

Man, was she pissed when she woke up.