It's been said if you bend over & put your ear to someone's leg you can hear "What the fuck are you doing?"
I'm feeling a bit more mature these days so I wasn't embarrassed walking into the drug store to buy condoms. That is, until the woman behind the counter advised me, 'Save your money -- buy a lottery ticket.'
What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
What do you call a black man who flies a plane?
A pilot you racist bastard.