Depends On What You Call It

Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?

Because women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.

What should you do if your sister-in-law sits on your glasses & breaks them?

Take them off next time.

How can you tell if a chick is too fat to screw?

You pull her pants down and her ass is still in 'em.

My dick is so big, it won't return Spielberg's calls.