My wife bought one of those do-it-yourself waxing kits. Really wanting to please me, she asked with a wink: "Should I do the sides and leave a little strip down the middle?"
I told her: "I'd prefer you have no moustache at all."
The teacher says to her new class, "For our first lesson, each of you will stand up, tell us your name, what your father does, spell what your father does, and then explain it to us. All right, Billy."
Billy stands up and says, "My name's Billy. My father's a lawyer, l-a-w-y-e-r, and he defends people in court."
The teacher says, "Very good. All right, Tyrone."
Tyrone stands up and says, "My name's Tyrone. My father's a pharmacist, f-a-m...f-a-r-n...f-n..."
The teacher says, "Tyrone, you go home tonight and learn how to spell pharmacist. All right, Angelo."
Angelo stands up and says, "My name's Angelo. My old man's a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e, and if he was here, he'd give you nine-to-five Tyrone ain't spellin' pharmacist by tomorrow."