Until I Met A Guy Who Had No Feet...

A guy wakes up in the hospital: "Doc, I can't feel my legs!"

Doc: "That's because we amputated your arms."

What do a condom & a coffin have in common?

You cum in one, go in the other & they both contain stiffs.

Why did the woman cross the road?

Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?

The only thing wrong with sex on television is that you could fall off.