A guy wakes up in the hospital: "Doc, I can't feel my legs!"
Doc: "That's because we amputated your arms."
Why'd the guy marry the Siamese twin?
So he could fuck his wife and have a girlfriend on the side.
My wife and I were discussing the differences between men and women. She asked: "So what do you think the biggest difference is?"
I told her: "What comes to mind when I say I'd like to give you a facial!"
And that's when the fight started...
My wife sidled up to me last night and asked: "Would you like a little pussy?"
I said: "I sure would, 'cause yours is as big as a house!"