Until I Met A Guy Who Had No Feet...

A guy wakes up in the hospital: "Doc, I can't feel my legs!"

Doc: "That's because we amputated your arms."

Why is sex with your spouse like a convenience store?

There's not much variety, but what else is open at three in the morning.

Why is sex like Microsoft Windows?

For everyone who pays for it, there are hundreds getting it free.

What is the irritating part around a blonde's pussy?

The other guys waiting their turn!