Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

How do you know if your wife's dead?

You stick your dick in her mouth and she doesn't turn her head.

Gal to cashier: "I'm in a hurry, can you please check me out?"

Clerk looks her up & down: "Nice tits, babe!"

What's it called when a WWE wrestler ties his opponent's dick in a knot?

A Willie Nelson.

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A guy was organizing his cards for Valentine's Day and realized he made a huge mistake!

"For fucks sake, what a mess to sort out. I can't believe I've mixed their Valentine's Day cards up.

The girlfriend now thinks I love her and the wife thinks I want to fuck her."

What gets longer when you pull it, fits between the breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A seat belt.

The only thing wrong with sex on television is that you could fall off.

More Reliable Than A Pulse