Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

How do you know if your wife's dead?

You stick your dick in her mouth and she doesn't turn her head.

Gal to cashier: "I'm in a hurry, can you please check me out?"

Clerk looks her up & down: "Nice tits, babe!"

What's it called when a WWE wrestler ties his opponent's dick in a knot?

A Willie Nelson.

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10. You're sure to get at least one of your favorite dishes.

9. The turkey never suffers from modesty.

8. You can nibble before dinner even if mom sees you.

7. You are expected to pass the dishes around.

6. There are always at least two kinds of desert, with or without whipped cream.

5. They give you the day off WITH pay to have dinner.

4. Thanksgiving dinner is a "sure" thing.

3. Seconds are encouraged. Take home, too!!

2. You're expected to fall asleep after dinner.

And the number 1 reason why Thanksgiving dinner is better than sex:

1. You are EXPECTED to watch football BEFORE and AFTER dinner.

My wife is constantly complaining that I don't listen to her...

...or something like that.

I once went on date with a girl who didn't swallow.

There was soup everywhere!

More Reliable Than A Pulse