Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

How do you know if your wife's dead?

You stick your dick in her mouth and she doesn't turn her head.

Gal to cashier: "I'm in a hurry, can you please check me out?"

Clerk looks her up & down: "Nice tits, babe!"

What's it called when a WWE wrestler ties his opponent's dick in a knot?

A Willie Nelson.

Page 10 of 180

How do you confuse a female archaeologist?

Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it's from.

An old couple sits down to breakfast on their Fiftieth Anniversary stark naked.

The wife says "Oh, Harold, this is just like fifty years ago...my breasts feel all warm and tingly..."

He says, "They ought to be, Gladys...one's hanging in your oatmeal and the other is in your coffee."

Bad things come in three's. Always in three's.

The other day I was screwing my girlfriend while her husband was on a business trip. First she said three words: "Is it in?"

Then she followed that with: "Are you done?"

And finally I heard the front door open and a man's voice shout out: "Honey, I'm home!"

More Reliable Than A Pulse