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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

More Reliable Than A Pulse

Hits: 2905

How do you know if your wife's dead?

You stick your dick in her mouth and she doesn't turn her head.

Ten Items or Less

Hits: 3038

Gal to cashier: "I'm in a hurry, can you please check me out?"

Clerk looks her up & down: "Nice tits, babe!"

In This Corner

Hits: 2672

What's it called when a WWE wrestler ties his opponent's dick in a knot?

A Willie Nelson.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

The Parade Route Is Safe

Why does a blonde have two more brain cells than a horse?

So she won't shit on the street during the parade.

Ask and You Shall Receive

Guy walks into a bar. Bartender asks: "What'll you have buddy?" The guys says: "Surprise me."

So the bartender pulls out a naked picture of the guy's wife!

Probably a Bad Practice

Dr. Dave slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while, he'd hear an internal voice that said, "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients, and you won't be the last. And you're single. Let it go."

But invariably, the another voice would bring him back to reality. "But Dave, you're a vet."