More Reliable Than A Pulse

: Created: 28 July 2017; Hits: 1882

How do you know if your wife's dead?

You stick your dick in her mouth and she doesn't turn her head.

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Get A Job

I'm trying to write a joke about unemployed people.

It needs more work.

Some Fun In The Sun

Shirley was sitting on a beach in Florida, trying to strike up a conversation with the attractive guy reading his book on the blanket next to her.

"Hi" she said. "Do you like movies?" "Yes, I do," he responded, then returned to his book.

Shirley persisted, "Do you like gardening?" The man looked up again. "Yes, I do," he said politely before returning to his reading.

Undaunted, Shirley asked, "Do you like pussycats?"

With that, the man dropped his book and pounced on Shirley, pulled her bottoms off, and proceeded to pound her right there on the beach. As the cloud of sand began to settle, Shirley dragged herself upright and panted, "Wow... how did you know that was what I wanted?"

The guy thought a bit and replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"

What Do You Mean?

A girl walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "Give me a double entendre."

So he gave it to her.