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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Facts Of Life

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Little Johnny: "Where do babies come from?"

Mother: "The stork brings them."

Johnny: "Who fucks the stork?"

Out For A Drive

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"Was your car ride with Grandma fun?"

"No Grampa. We didn't see any assholes, dumb bastards or shitheads."

Tough To Find Good Help

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Maid: "I want a raise. I fuck better than you."

Wife: "My husband said that?"

"No, all the landscapers."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

At The Restaurant

I took my wife to a restaurant, and the waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah" I told him, "she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started...

Late But On Time

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at five o'clock in the morning?"

"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."

And that's when the fight started...

Question About A Blonde

Why was the blonde's belly button red and hurting after sex?

Her boyfriend was also blonde.