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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Facts Of Life

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Little Johnny: "Where do babies come from?"

Mother: "The stork brings them."

Johnny: "Who fucks the stork?"

Out For A Drive

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"Was your car ride with Grandma fun?"

"No Grampa. We didn't see any assholes, dumb bastards or shitheads."

Tough To Find Good Help

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Maid: "I want a raise. I fuck better than you."

Wife: "My husband said that?"

"No, all the landscapers."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

She Doesn't Give A F*ck!

What do you get when cross an attorney with a feminist?

A lawyer who won't fuck you.

Easy Money And Good Exercise

His dad came home from a week-long business trip to find Little Johnny with a brand new mountain bike. "How'd you get that, son?" his dad asked. "By hiking" was Little Johnny's reply. "Hiking?" his dad asked in surprise.

"Yeah. Every night last week Mr. Johnson came over and gave me twenty bucks to take a hike."

Same Facts, Different Conclusion

Guy to his friend: "I’m getting married. I’m tired of a messy apartment, dirty dishes & no clothes to wear."

Friend tells him: "I’m getting divorced for the same reasons."