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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Facts Of Life

Hits: 3266

Little Johnny: "Where do babies come from?"

Mother: "The stork brings them."

Johnny: "Who fucks the stork?"

Out For A Drive

Hits: 3174

"Was your car ride with Grandma fun?"

"No Grampa. We didn't see any assholes, dumb bastards or shitheads."

Tough To Find Good Help

Hits: 3326

Maid: "I want a raise. I fuck better than you."

Wife: "My husband said that?"

"No, all the landscapers."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

It's About Time

20 years the wife finally gives him a blowjob.
 
Phone rings he picks it up says: It's for you, cocksucker.

Just Plain Stupid

A man and his wife were traveling down the highway when they saw the lights of a patrol car behind them. When they pulled over, the patrol man came up to the window and said, "I am going to give you two tickets. One because you were speeding and one because you didn't have your seat belt fastened."

The man said, "I did too have my seat belt fastened. I just loosened it when you came up to the car." The Patrol Man said to the man's wife, "I know he didn't have his seatbelt fastened. Isn't that right, lady?"

She replied, "Well, officer. I learned a long time ago not to argue with my husband when he's drunk."

Pretty Bad

What would you call a woman who goes out with You?

Desperate!

Happy Valentines Day!