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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Facts Of Life

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Little Johnny: "Where do babies come from?"

Mother: "The stork brings them."

Johnny: "Who fucks the stork?"

Out For A Drive

Hits: 3144

"Was your car ride with Grandma fun?"

"No Grampa. We didn't see any assholes, dumb bastards or shitheads."

Tough To Find Good Help

Hits: 3299

Maid: "I want a raise. I fuck better than you."

Wife: "My husband said that?"

"No, all the landscapers."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Black Friday

A small business owner was dismayed when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST BLACK FRIDAY DEALS.

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST BLACK FRIDAY PRICES.

The small business owner panicked, until he got an idea.

He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop, it read: MAIN ENTRANCE.

Her Most Affectionate Name

I'm laying back after screwing my wife & she whispers: "Honey, I think I'll call you the bus?"

I asked why and she said, "Because you always stop before I get off!"

And that's when the fight started...

More Than Just Manners

My wife was complaining I fart too much, so she ripped a big one right back at me. I asked her, "Honey, you never did that when we were dating. How come?"

She said, "'Cause I didn't get an asshole till we were married."

And that's when the fight started...