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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Advice From Dick

Hits: 2660

Good advice from old Dick Johnson: You gotta stick it out if your're gonna start young!

Not Quite A Sonnet

Hits: 2915

Definition of love: Your heart melts and comes squirting out the end of your dick.

It's About Time

Hits: 3242
20 years the wife finally gives him a blowjob.
 
Phone rings he picks it up says: It's for you, cocksucker.

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No Pain? Game On!

Husband says to his wife, "Here's 2 aspirin & a glass of water for your headache."

"I don't have a headache." His wife tells him

"Good. Now strip. We're fucking."

All I Want For Christmas

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Please send me a sister."

Santa Claus wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

You're Doing It All Wrong

Johnson's wife had been in a coma for four months. The nurses came to realise that she would move a little every time they washed her crotch area. Her doctor thought hard about this and asked Johnson to come to the hospital.

When he got there the doctor suggested perhaps if Johnson practiced oral sex with her she might wake out of the coma. Johnson said he would try anything and asked for some privacy.

Minutes later he came rushing out of the room shouting, "Doc, help, I think she's choking!"