Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

Good advice from old Dick Johnson: You gotta stick it out if your're gonna start young!

Definition of love: Your heart melts and comes squirting out the end of your dick.

20 years the wife finally gives him a blowjob.

Phone rings he picks it up says: It's for you, cocksucker.

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My wife and I were sitting at breakfast having bacon and eggs. I told her: Darling, you're just like bacon... you look, smell and taste fantastic!"

Thanks she said... before I added: "And your both killing me slowly."

And that's when the fight started...

What do you call a black man who flies a plane?

A pilot you racist bastard.

A stockbroker calls a client and says, "Sam, I have good news and bad news."

Sam says, "Tell me the bad news first."

The stockbroker says, "I lost all of your money."

Sam says, "What's the good news?"

The stockbroker says, "I got laid last night."

Advice From Dick