Dick Jokes


The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Why is a pussy like the weather?

Because once it's wet, you know it's time to go inside.

What's the difference between your job and a whore who dropped dead?

Tomorrow your job will still suck!

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, they headed to her house for an afternoon of fun. Exhausted after screwin' around, they fell asleep and didn't wake up until 8pm.

As the man threw on his clothes, he told his mistress to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. Mystified, she did as he said and when she came back in he slipped them on and raced home.

At the front door his wife confronted him. "Where have you been?" she demanded. "Darling," he replied, "I cannot tell a lie. I've been having an affair with my secretary. We fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."

The wife looked down at his shoes and shouted, "Liar! You've been playing golf!"

Cop: "Are you a natural blonde?" Blonde: "Yeah."

Tosses his ticket book, starts pulling down his zipper

Blonde: "Oh, no, not another Breathalyzer test."