Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

Good advice from old Dick Johnson: You gotta stick it out if your're gonna start young!

Definition of love: Your heart melts and comes squirting out the end of your dick.

20 years the wife finally gives him a blowjob.

Phone rings he picks it up says: It's for you, cocksucker.

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I took this divorced broad I met in a bar back to my place the other night. The next morning I asked her, "Well, how was I?"

She said, "The truth? I wasn't too happy with the size of your organ."

So I told her, "Yeah? Well I didn't know I was going to be playing in a cathedral."

It's the spring, and the baby bear comes out of his cave. His knees are wobbling, he's a wreck. He's skin and bones, with big circles under his eyes.

His mother says, "Junior! Did you hibernate all winter like you were supposed to?"

He says, "Hibernate? Shit! I thought you said masturbate!"

Why do women wear black underwear?

They're in mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.

Advice From Dick