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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Advice From Dick

Hits: 2048

Good advice from old Dick Johnson: You gotta stick it out if your're gonna start young!

Not Quite A Sonnet

Hits: 2229

Definition of love: Your heart melts and comes squirting out the end of your dick.

It's About Time

Hits: 2622
20 years the wife finally gives him a blowjob.
 
Phone rings he picks it up says: It's for you, cocksucker.

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Read Him His Rights

A female officer arrests a drunk. As she puts the cuffs on him she warns: "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you..."

Before she can finish the drunk shouts out: "Boobs"

Cop Pulls A Guy Over

A cop pulls a guy over and says, "Hey pal... did you know your wife fell out a few blocks back?"

"Thank God... I thought I went deaf."

Ask And You Shall Receive

Every day a homeless drunk watches a guy stop and whisper to every chick that walks by. Sometimes the girl walks away a little confused. Sometimes the girl smiles, grabs the guy by the arm and they walk off to the motel across the street.

One day the homeless guy walks over and asks: "Hey buddy, what are you sayin' to those girls to get all that action?" The guy tells him: "I take the simple, direct approach. I first whisper 'Tickle your ass with a feather?' If the girl smiles and says sure, I know I've scored. But if she's offended I quickly repeat 'Particularly nasty weather' like she didn't hear me right and then just move on. Works every time!"

The drunk thinks what a great idea and decides to try it himself. Waiting on the corner he stumbles over to the first girl that walks by and shouts at her: "Shove a feather up your ass?" The girl looks totally shocked. So heeding his lesson he quickly covers by saying: "It's fucking raining."