Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

Good advice from old Dick Johnson: You gotta stick it out if your're gonna start young!

Definition of love: Your heart melts and comes squirting out the end of your dick.

20 years the wife finally gives him a blowjob.

Phone rings he picks it up says: It's for you, cocksucker.

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A guy says, "For our Twentieth Anniversary, I'm taking my wife to Australia."

His friend says, "That's going to be tough to beat. What're you going to do for your Twenty-Fifth Anniversary?"

The first guy says, "I'm going to go back and get her."

If Gin makes you grin and Whiskey makes you frisky, what makes you pregnant?

Two highballs and a squirt.

I took my wife to a restaurant, and the waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah" I told him, "she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started...

Advice From Dick