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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

By Any Other Name

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What do you call a guy with a small dick?

Justin!

What do you call a guy with a giant dick?

Phil!

Staff Knows Better Than The Boss

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One day the boss calls in the vice-president. "We're downsizing. We have to lay off either Jack or Barbara."

The VP tells him, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I'm not sure what to do."

The next morning the VP is waiting and Barbara is the first to arrive. He tells her, "Barbara, I've got a problem. I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?"

Barbara quickly responds, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."

Depends On Where You Are

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I told my buddy: "I got caught jerking off to a National Geographic magazine."

Asks: "Were you embarrassed?"

"No, but my dentist's receptionist was."

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Depends on How You Like It

What's the difference between medium and rare?

6 inches is medium, 8 inches is rare.

Vegetable Logic

How's broccoli like anal sex?

If it was forced on you as a kid, you probably won't enjoy it as an adult.

Best Bar In Town

Three guys are in a bar discussing which joint in town has the best deal on drinks.

The first guy boasts, "There's a bar on the South Side where the bartender will set up a free drink for every one you buy."

The next guy says, "That's nothing! Over on the West Side there's a bar where the bartender will pour you a double shot free for every one you buy."

The last guy is totally unimpressed and says, "That's nothing. There's a place somewhere on the North Side where the owner buys you drinks all night. Then when the bar closes, he takes you into a back room with a cot makes love to you all night."

The first two guys are shocked but a little skeptical, so they ask if he's actually been there. "Nope," the guys says, "But my sister told me all about it."