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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

By Any Other Name

Hits: 3077

What do you call a guy with a small dick?

Justin!

What do you call a guy with a giant dick?

Phil!

Staff Knows Better Than The Boss

Hits: 2525

One day the boss calls in the vice-president. "We're downsizing. We have to lay off either Jack or Barbara."

The VP tells him, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I'm not sure what to do."

The next morning the VP is waiting and Barbara is the first to arrive. He tells her, "Barbara, I've got a problem. I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?"

Barbara quickly responds, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."

Depends On Where You Are

Hits: 3104

I told my buddy: "I got caught jerking off to a National Geographic magazine."

Asks: "Were you embarrassed?"

"No, but my dentist's receptionist was."

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Turn The Beat Around

A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a red “H” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” he asks. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we screw,” she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a blue “Y” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” he asks. “Oh, my boyfriend goes to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when he's banging me,” she replies.

A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green “M” on her chest. “Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?” asks the doctor. “No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?”

And I Don't Even Know It

You didn't know old Dick Johnson is a bit of a poet, did you. Yep! My dick is a Longfellow.

Been A Long Time

I was thinking about when my girlfriend & I first met. I realized I've been going out with her for...

sex.