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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

By Any Other Name

Hits: 3098

What do you call a guy with a small dick?

Justin!

What do you call a guy with a giant dick?

Phil!

Staff Knows Better Than The Boss

Hits: 2551

One day the boss calls in the vice-president. "We're downsizing. We have to lay off either Jack or Barbara."

The VP tells him, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I'm not sure what to do."

The next morning the VP is waiting and Barbara is the first to arrive. He tells her, "Barbara, I've got a problem. I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?"

Barbara quickly responds, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."

Depends On Where You Are

Hits: 3127

I told my buddy: "I got caught jerking off to a National Geographic magazine."

Asks: "Were you embarrassed?"

"No, but my dentist's receptionist was."

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Relationship Expert

What's a platonic relationship?

That's a friendship between a girl and a guy who wants to fuck her. 

To Know Which Way The Wind Blows

Husband and wife are fast asleep when the phone rings at two o'clock in the morning. The husband picks up the phone and says: "Hello?... How the heck do I know? What am I, the weatherman?" Then he  slams the phone down.

His wife rolls over and asks: "Who was that?" The husband replies: "I don't know. Some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear."

It Takes Two

I asked my wife what she thought my two greatest assets were?

She said: "A closed mouth and an open wallet."

And that's when the fight started...