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Ten Items or Less

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Gal to cashier: "I'm in a hurry, can you please check me out?"

Clerk looks her up & down: "Nice tits, babe!"

Don't Miss These Jokes!

New Yorkers Are So Friendly

I was visiting New York City recently and had to ask for directions. I went over to a random guy on the street and asked for his help.

Right away he told me, "Sure, head down 42nd street and take a left at the corner of get a map and fuck you!"

Gee, New Yorkers are so friendly...

Going Down?

I think I got beat up pretty bad last night. I remember getting on the elevator at my office and running into this gorgeous secretary with big tits. I couldn't help staring at her while the elevator door closed, but didn't start up. She said: "Would you please press one?"

So I did. I don't remember much after that...

He Should Have Done The TIme

A wife woke up in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house, and heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found her husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. "Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant? And your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?" "Yes, of course," she replied.

"Well, I would have been released tonight."

And that's when the fight started...