Ten Items or Less

Gal to cashier: "I'm in a hurry, can you please check me out?"

Clerk looks her up & down: "Nice tits, babe!"

It was dad's turn to take his 10-year old daughter for a haircut... so he took her to his favorite barber.

While she was sitting in the chair with her lollipop the barber walked up and warned, "You're going to get hair on your lollipop."

The little girl nodded and said, "Uh, huh. And I'm gonna get tits, too."

A guy visits a psychiatrist and lies on the couch. The doc asks: "What's your problem?"

The guy tells him, "Doc, I can't seem to make any friends. Can you help me, you fat fuck?"

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...

...so, I took her to a gas station.

And that's when the fight started...