What's it called when a WWE wrestler ties his opponent's dick in a knot?
A Willie Nelson.
Women are like guns.
Keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.
A woman asks the pharmacist if he carries extra-large condoms. The pharmacist replies, "Yes, would you like to buy some?"
The woman says, "No, but do you mind if I stand here and wait for the next guy that buys a box?"
My wife was complaining I fart too much, so she ripped a big one right back at me. I asked her, "Honey, you never did that when we were dating. How come?"
She said, "'Cause I didn't get an asshole till we were married."
And that's when the fight started...