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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Ding Dong

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The bell rings at a whorehouse.

The madam answers the door and finds a guy with no arms and no legs. She looks at him and says: "What'ya think you're gonna do in here?"

He says: "Hey... I rang the bell, didn't I?"

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How It's Done Down South

How does a redneck girl practice safe sex?

She locks the doors on her pickup truck.

And When You Die...

My wife and I were having our usual back and forth when I finally got frustrated and told her: "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever"

"Yeah?" she replied. " Well, when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"

And that's when the fight started...

More Cushion For The Pushin'

How do you get a really fat girl into your bed?

Piece of cake.