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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Take the Plea

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Judge Calloway's court docket was too full.
 
So he knocked the sodomy charge down to "following too close."

Take A Walk On The Boardwalk

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My wife cheats when we play board games. Last night I'm playing Monopoly with the kids and she was in the garage bangin' the landscaper.

Musings From George Burns

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1st you forget names, then faces. Next it's pulling your zipper up, And finally you forget to pull it down.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

A Helping Hand

A priest is walking down the street and passes by a prostitute who yells out, "$20 for a handjob!"

He keeps walking but later he asks a nun, "What's a handjob?"

She replies, "20 bucks... same as in town."

Two Professionals Discussing Technique

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the engine of a Range Rover when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in the shop. The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes when the mechanic shouted across the garage: "Hey doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the Range Rover. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked: "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered to the mechanic: "Try doing it with the engine running."

This Will Drive A Woman Crazy

What's six inches long, two inches wide and drives every woman wild?

A hundred dollar bill!