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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

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Judge Calloway's court docket was too full.
 
So he knocked the sodomy charge down to "following too close."

Hits: 2001

My wife cheats when we play board games. Last night I'm playing Monopoly with the kids and she was in the garage bangin' the landscaper.

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1st you forget names, then faces. Next it's pulling your zipper up, And finally you forget to pull it down.

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On The Rag

What did one tampon say to the other?

Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.

Sure Is Dark In Here

A man is having sex with a married woman when her husband comes home from work early. The man runs into the closet where he hears a little voice, "Sure is dark in here."

The man startled can only think to say, "Yes it is."

The boy's voice then says, "Wanna buy this baseball for $50?"

The man replies, "What? That's outrageous."

The boy says, "Or I can just show you my dad's shotgun."

To keep him quiet the man says: "Okay kid, here you go," as he hands the kid the money.

The next week the man is again making love to the same married woman and again her husband comes home early sending him to the closet. And the next thing he hears is the boy's voice, "It sure is dark in here... how about $1000 for the glove."

The man frustrated replies, "What?! That is completely ridiculous."

"Would you rather see the shotgun?" threatens the young man.

So the guy forks over the grand and takes the glove.

The next day the boy is complaining to his father that he sold his glove and ball and has nothing to play with. The father asked him, "What? How much you get?"

The boy replies, "$1050."

The father says, "You shouldn't take advantage of your friends like that! I'm taking you to church right now to confess."

At church the boy gets into the confessional box and says, "It sure is dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start this shit again!"

A Kosher Turkey

How is a Jewish woman like a Thanksgiving turkey?

Her husband only gets to stuff her once a year.