A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Take the Plea

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Judge Calloway's court docket was too full.
 
So he knocked the sodomy charge down to "following too close."

Take A Walk On The Boardwalk

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My wife cheats when we play board games. Last night I'm playing Monopoly with the kids and she was in the garage bangin' the landscaper.

Musings From George Burns

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1st you forget names, then faces. Next it's pulling your zipper up, And finally you forget to pull it down.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Sometimes There's No Right Answer

A husband asks his wife: "If I died, would you marry again?" The wife replies lovingly: "Oh darling, of course I wouldn’t. I’d go and live with my sister. And if I died, would you remarry?"

The husband looks at her and says: "No, I think I’d go and live with your sister too."

And that's when the fight started..,

Off-Label Usage

Nursing homes now give Viagra to the old guys living there.

Keeps them from rolling out of bed.

How It Really Happened

An 80-year-old man was having his annual physical when his doctor asked him how he was feeling. "Doc," he bragged, I’ve never been better! I've got plenty of dough for retirement and I’ve got a 20-year-old bride who’s pregnant and having my baby! Pretty good, right?"

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry, and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So there he was in the woods, when suddenly a grizzly bear appeared right in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear, and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened?"

Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No." The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead right there on the spot." "That’s impossible!" the old guy argued. "Someone else must have shot that bear."

"That’s exactly what I’m getting at..." replied the doctor.