Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

Judge Calloway's court docket was too full.

So he knocked the sodomy charge down to "following too close."

My wife cheats when we play board games. Last night I'm playing Monopoly with the kids and she was in the garage bangin' the landscaper.

1st you forget names, then faces. Next it's pulling your zipper up, And finally you forget to pull it down.

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Why'd the guy marry the Siamese twin?

So he could fuck his wife and have a girlfriend on the side.

Mom giving advice to her daughter: "If a boy touches your boobies say 'don't' and if he touches your pussy say 'stop.'

Daughter's reply: "oh mom, I already know that. And last night my boyfriend touched both so I said 'don’t stop!'

Old Dick is ambidextrous. Yep! I can swing a bat from both sides of the plate, & jerk off with both hands.

Take the Plea