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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Best Chance For A Full Recovery

Hits: 2306

Surgeons prefer operating on politicians.

No guts, heart or spine & the mouth & asshole are interchangeable.

Soon Enough Young Man

Hits: 2242

Little Johnny in the bathtub points at his dick: "Mommy, is my brain in there?"

"Not yet, sweetie."

Recipe For Success

Hits: 2114

4 shots of tequila & I bang my wife doggie style.

2 makes her horny & 2 more gets her out on the front lawn.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Just For Decoration, That's It & That's All...

A daughter asks her mother, "How many different kinds of dicks are there?”

The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases in his life. In his 20s, his dick is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.”

“A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

More Sh*t

What's brown and sits on a piano bench?

Beethoven's First Movement.

Never Take Candy From A Stranger

A guy pulls up to a little girl playing on the sidewalk and says, "Hey, little girl, want a lollipop?"

The girls says "My mommy told me not to take candy from strangers. But if you give me twenty bucks, I'll suck your dick."