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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Best Chance For A Full Recovery

Hits: 3089

Surgeons prefer operating on politicians.

No guts, heart or spine & the mouth & asshole are interchangeable.

Soon Enough Young Man

Hits: 2949

Little Johnny in the bathtub points at his dick: "Mommy, is my brain in there?"

"Not yet, sweetie."

Recipe For Success

Hits: 2812

4 shots of tequila & I bang my wife doggie style.

2 makes her horny & 2 more gets her out on the front lawn.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

A Duck Walks Into A Bar... Here We Go Again!

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says no, this is a bar not a grocery store." and sends him out.

The next day, the duck returns and again asks, "Got any grapes?" This time the bartender gets real mad and says. "I told you yesterday no grapes. And you're a duck. We don't even serve ducks here. You come in here and bother me one more time and I'll nail your fuckin' web feet to the floor." And with that he throws him out again.

The next day, the duck returns only this time he asks "Got any nails?" Confused, the bartender says "No."

"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"

Out For A Drive

"Was your car ride with Grandma fun?"

"No Grampa. We didn't see any assholes, dumb bastards or shitheads."

Let's Pretend

Sally: "Let's play house."

Little Johnny: "What do I do?"

Sally: "Communicate your feelings."

Johnny: "How do I do that?"

Sally: "Perfect. You can be the husband!"