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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

You Know You've Done It

Hits: 2715

Women are like parking spots. With all the good ones taken & nobody looking, you stick it in a disabled one.

Correct Dosage

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Why shouldn't you cut suppositories in half?

They're supposed to be shoved up your ass whole.

No Tricks Here

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What's a sure-fire way to give a woman an orgasm?

Who cares?

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

They Don't Teach This In School

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you’re the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he had ever been unfaithful to his wife and he says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?"

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I’m your son’s teacher."

I Hope His Prayers Are Answered

A man's been praying at The Wailing Wall in Jerusalem for 20 years. One day he's being interviewed. The reporter says, "You've been praying at The Wailing Wall for 20 years?" The man says, "Absolutely, 20 years. In the morning when I get up, I pray there should be peace in the world. In the afternoon I pray that misery and hunger should be eliminated. And at night I pray that the Israelis and the Palestinians should live together in harmony."

The reporter says, "Well, those are all very nice thoughts. Tell me, how does it feel?"

The man says, "It's like talking to a fucking wall."

Still Not My Type Of Girl

What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?

Forty-five pounds.