Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

Women are like parking spots. With all the good ones taken & nobody looking, you stick it in a disabled one.

Why shouldn't you cut suppositories in half?

They're supposed to be shoved up your ass whole.

What's a sure-fire way to give a woman an orgasm?

Who cares?

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Three women were talking about what's it like in bed with their husbands.

The first said, "My husband is like a Rolls-Royce; smooth and sophisticated."

The second said, "Mine is like a Porsche; fast and powerful."

The third said, "Mine is like an antique Chevy. I have to start it by hand and then jump on once it gets going."

1/3 of women not interested in sex. Me too. The 1/3 from the neck up...meh. From the tits down? I'm in.

Three guys are sitting in a bar bitching about how stupid their wives are.

The first guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and we don't even have a garage."

The second guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she listens to her iPod and she doesn't have any earphones for it."

The third guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries a purse full of condoms and she doesn't even have a dick."

You Know You've Done It