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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

You Know You've Done It

Hits: 1944

Women are like parking spots. With all the good ones taken & nobody looking, you stick it in a disabled one.

Correct Dosage

Hits: 3203

Why shouldn't you cut suppositories in half?

They're supposed to be shoved up your ass whole.

No Tricks Here

Hits: 2024

What's a sure-fire way to give a woman an orgasm?

Who cares?

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

At The Restaurant

I took my wife to a restaurant, and the waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah" I told him, "she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started...

We're On The Air

A cute young blonde goes to a radio station late one night and kocks on the door. The all-night D.J. lets her in and chats to her between songs. Pretty soon he starts getting really horny. Finally, he can't stand it any more. So he rolls his chair over in front of her, stands on it, takes out his dick and sticks it right in her face. He looks down at her and says, "You know what to do!"

She looks up at him and says, "I-I think so." He says, "Then go ahead."

She grabs it and screams into it, "I just want to say hello to Terry and Holly and the whole gang at Matt's Grill."

You're On The Clock

The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls' school was lecturing her students on sexual morality. "We live today in very difficult times. In moments of temptation ask yourself just one question: Is 15 minutes of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?"

One young girl in the back of the room rose and asked: "Excuse me, but how do you make it last 15 minutes?"