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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

You Know You've Done It

Hits: 2636

Women are like parking spots. With all the good ones taken & nobody looking, you stick it in a disabled one.

Correct Dosage

Hits: 3880

Why shouldn't you cut suppositories in half?

They're supposed to be shoved up your ass whole.

No Tricks Here

Hits: 2691

What's a sure-fire way to give a woman an orgasm?

Who cares?

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You Do The Math

A 54 year old accountant decides to leave his wife, and to rub it in at the same time. So he writes her a letter that reads: Dear Wife, I am 54, and by the time you get this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary.

When he arrives at the hotel the front desk clerk hands him a letter that was waiting for him. It read: Dear Husband, I too am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Surfside Motel with my handsome and virile 18 year old boy toy.You being an accountant can certainly appreciate that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18

I Hereby Sentence You

A husband gets home from his day in court on a traffic offense and his wife asks: "So, how did it go?"

The husband replies: "Well honey, I ended up in front of Judge Calloway, you remember, the judge who married us. Turns out he remembered me too... so I pleaded 'guilty with explanation' and he only gave me a small fine. That was way better than the last time, when you and I were in there together. That time he gave me life without the possibility of parole."

And that's when the fight started...

What night is it?

What's the difference between a wife and the trash can sittin' in your garage?

You at least take the trash out once a week.