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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

You Know You've Done It

Created: 22 August 2017
Hits: 2648

Women are like parking spots. With all the good ones taken & nobody looking, you stick it in a disabled one.

Correct Dosage

Created: 19 August 2017
Hits: 3891

Why shouldn't you cut suppositories in half?

They're supposed to be shoved up your ass whole.

No Tricks Here

Created: 16 August 2017
Hits: 2700

What's a sure-fire way to give a woman an orgasm?

Who cares?

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

I'd Love To But...

My wife tried to goad me, "Our next door neighbor tells me her husband can make love to her 3X a day. Why can't you do that?"

I told her, "Because she always says, 'No, we might get caught.' "​

And that's when the fight started...

Why Santa Doesn't Have Children

Why doesn't Santa have any children?

Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.

More Than One Reason

A young man got a new job running the cash register at a general store. The old store owner promised he would teach him how to be a salesman and up-sell. "Watch how I do it," he said to his new hire.

As a customer put a bag of grass seed on the counter, the old-timer said to him, "When you plant those seeds your grass is gonna start growing and you're going to need a new lawnmower to cut it." "You know," said the customer, "I think you're right. I do need a new mower. Sure, I'll take one."

The new kid said, "Wow. I think I see what you mean. Let me try one." The next customer in line stepped up to the counter and set down a box of tampons. The young kid said, "You know, you should get you a new lawnmower to go with that." The man asked the kid, "What the hell are you talking about?"

The wanna-be salesman told him, "It looks like your weekend's shot, so you might as well cut the grass."

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