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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

You Know You've Done It

Hits: 2644

Women are like parking spots. With all the good ones taken & nobody looking, you stick it in a disabled one.

Correct Dosage

Hits: 3887

Why shouldn't you cut suppositories in half?

They're supposed to be shoved up your ass whole.

No Tricks Here

Hits: 2700

What's a sure-fire way to give a woman an orgasm?

Who cares?

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

On The High Seas

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick. The bartender looks at him and says: "Hey matey, do you know you have a steering wheel attached to your dick?"

The pirate replies: "Arrrgh... and it's driving me nuts!"

Read Him His Rights

A female officer arrests a drunk. She warns him: "Anything you say can and will be held against you."

So he shouts back: "Tits"

Clever Move

A rabbi and a priest get into a bad car accident. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi. Look at our cars...there's nothing left, but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God." The priest says, "I agree, this must be a sign from God."

The rabbi says, "And look at this. Here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, yet this bottle of Manischewitz wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune," and he hands the bottle to the priest. The priest agrees, takes a few big swigs, and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle, puts the cap on, and hands it back to the priest.

The priest says, "Aren't you having any?"

The rabbi says, "No, I think I'll just wait for the police."