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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Who Likes Flowers?

Hits: 2505

What's better than a rose on your piano?

Tulips on your organ.

Where Are You Going?

Hits: 2476

Why is sperm white and piss yellow?

So you know if you're cumming or going!

Hookers Or Bungee Jumping

Hits: 2215

What does bungee jumping & a hooker have in common?

Cost: a 100 bucks. If the rubber breaks you're screwed.

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Adoption Laws

Why can't lesbians adopt a child?

Because they don't serve minors to lickers.

In The Spirit of Giving

The local United Way discovers that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. So a local volunteer calls him and says, "Even though your annual income is well over a million dollars, our research shows you've never made a donation to our organization. Would you like to give back to the community through The United Way?"

The lawyer says, "First, did your research show that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and has huge medical bills far beyond her ability to pay?" The rep says, "No."

The lawyer says, "Second, did your research show that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?" The rep says, "No."

The lawyer says, "And finally, did your research show that my sister's husband died in a terrible car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children?" The rep says, "I had no idea."

So the lawyer says: "Think about it. If I wouldn't give to any of them, why the hell would I give to you!"

Leaky Pipes

Old guy calls a plumber. "There's a leak over my kitchen table."

The plumber asks him "When did you first notice it?"

"After it took me two hours to finish my soup last night."