A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Toss My Honeymoon Salad

Hits: 3084

What's the recipe for a Honeymoon Salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.

Simple Test

Hits: 3261

Which is the odd one out a woman, a microwave or a freezer?

The microwave, the other two leak when they're fucked!

He Takes The Crown

Hits: 2974

Who's the world's greatest athlete?

The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Advice For Prepared Citizens

If you keep a baseball bat in your car, also keep a glove.

Your lawyer will thank you.

Like The Back Of My Hand...

We were getting ready in the bathroom together when my wife started putting her deodorant on. Thinking she was being cute she asked: "What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?"

I told her: "The back of my hand."

And that's when the fight started...

On The Night Beat

A cop pulls a guy over one night for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow into a breathalyzer. "I can't do that, officer, I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."

"OK, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."

"Alright, we'll take a blood sample." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could die."

"Fine then, just walk this white line." "Can't do that either, officer." "Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."