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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Toss My Honeymoon Salad

Hits: 2535

What's the recipe for a Honeymoon Salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.

Simple Test

Hits: 2633

Which is the odd one out a woman, a microwave or a freezer?

The microwave, the other two leak when they're fucked!

He Takes The Crown

Hits: 2428

Who's the world's greatest athlete?

The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

No Talking In The Library

The blonde said: "I want French fries and a diet Coke."

The librarian looked at her and snapped: "This is a library!"

So the blonde leaned in and whispered: "Sorry ... I want French Fries and a diet Coke."

The Chicken Or The Egg?

A chicken and and egg are lying in bed.

The chicken begins to light up a cigarette.

The egg says: "Well... I guess that answers that question."

Why A Guy Hates Valentines Day

Valentines day is just a massive hassle:

1. Remember to text my girlfriend a big lovey dovey message at the start of the day.
2. Remember to buy her a card in my lunch break.
3. Buy her some more crap in the rush hour after work before I meet her.
4. Take her to a fancy restaurant and pay for a pointlessly expensive meal.
5. Take her back to her place and give her some gentle, passionate love when all I want to do is excessively bang her.

And I have to do all this, then drive home without my wife finding out!