Recipe For Success

4 shots of tequila & I bang my wife doggie style.

2 makes her horny & 2 more gets her out on the front lawn.

What's the difference between pussy and apple pie?

You can eat your Mom's apple pie.

Guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner licking its balls. The guy looks at the bartender and says: "Man I whish I could do that!"

The bartender tells him: "Better try petting him first!"

What do you call a guy who expects to get laid on the second date?

Slow.