Recipe For Success

4 shots of tequila & I bang my wife doggie style.

2 makes her horny & 2 more gets her out on the front lawn.

What do a gynecologist & a pizza delivery boy have in common?

They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

If my son farts or has his hands down his pants, my wife smiles and says, “Like father, like son!”

Yesterday we caught him screwing the neighbor, but for some reason it wasn’t so funny when I said it.

What do lesbians cook for dinner?

They don't cook... they eat out.