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High art... from a low place.

Three's A Crowd

Created: 12 March 2016
Hits: 3203

Bad things come in three's. Always in three's.

The other day I was screwing my girlfriend while her husband was on a business trip. First she said three words: "Is it in?"

Then she followed that with: "Are you done?"

And finally I heard the front door open and a man's voice shout out: "Honey, I'm home!"

Better Than An Apple Watch

Created: 11 March 2016
Hits: 2670

A man calls his wife into the bedroom. "I want to show you the new watch I got today."

She walks in and finds him with his pants down. "That's not a watch!" she says.

"It will be once you put two hands and a face on it."

Home Video

Created: 10 March 2016
Hits: 3426

What's the difference between a husand and a wife?

Wives want to videotape the birth of their child. Husbands want to videotape the conception.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

The New Pet

A guy is just miserable.  So he decides to cheer himself up and get a pet. At the pet store the owner takes him in to the back and shows him a toothless hamster.

The guy looks at it and says: "That's the ugliest thing I ever saw."

The store owner says: "Maybe so, but it will give you the best blowjob you ever had."

So the guy tries it and it's fantastic. He buys the hamster and heads home.

When he gets there his wife sees the ugly little creature and says: "What the hell is that?"

The guy says: "Never mind. Just teach it to cook and then get the fuck out."

Tough Times Call For One Thing...

My wife was concerned that we weren't managing the household well in tough financial times. So she asked me to take some action and plan for the future.

No problem I told her. I ran out and came home with 2 cases of beer instead of one.

And that's when the fight started...

Anniversary Hint

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds."

So I bought her a scale.

And that's when the fight started...

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