A 40-year old woman never married because she only wanted a man who had never been with a woman sexually. And as you might imagine she searched for years but never could find one. So she finally tried one of those International dating sites and sure enough met a man who had lived his entire life in the Australian Outback. After a long-distance online courtship, they finally decided to marry.
On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare herself for the long awaited moment. When she walks back into the bedroom she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, totally naked, and he has all the furniture piled in one corner. "What happened?" she asks.
"I’ve never been with a woman," he tells her. "But if it’s anything like fucking a kangaroo I’m gonna need all the room I can get!"
The teacher was trying to teach the class the proper words to use when describing bodily functions. She admonished the class to use the term urinate. To reinforce the lesson she asked the class to use their knew word in a sentence.
When she called on Little Johhny he said: "Teacher... urinate. But if you had bigger tits you'd be a ten!"