Going Around Town

: Created: 12 July 2016; Hits: 2610

Got home to find a man in bed with my wife. "Who said you could sleep with my wife?"

He said, "Everybody."

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Merry Christmas!

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said. You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter replied.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells" . Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"

The man replied, "They're Carol's".

It's A Small World Afterall

Two guys trying to get in a quick eighteen holes, but there are two terrible lady golfers in front of them hitting the ball everywhere but where it's supposed to go. The first guy says, "Why don't you go over and ask if we play through?"

The second guy gets about halfway there and comes back. The first guy says, "What's wrong?" His buddy says, "One of them is my wife, and the other one is my mistress." The first guy says, "That could be a problem. I'll go over."

He gets about halfway there and comes back. The second guy says, "What's wrong?"

The first guy says, "Small world."

Either Way It Works

A nun came to her Mother Superior and asked her to hear confession. "Today Father Johnson told me I had the gates of Heaven between my legs, and that he had the Key to Heaven. Then he opened my gates with his key."

"That bastard!" said Mother Superior. "He told me it was Gabriel's trumpet, and I've been blowing it."