Going Around Town

Got home to find a man in bed with my wife. "Who said you could sleep with my wife?"

He said, "Everybody."

Did you hear about the junkie that was addicted to brake fluid?

He said he could stop anytime.

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

Gagged!

Why are roach clips called roach clips?

Because "pot holder" was already taken.