Going Around Town

Got home to find a man in bed with my wife. "Who said you could sleep with my wife?"

He said, "Everybody."

My wife remarked: "That Alzheimer's is a horrible disease. If I ever got it I think I'd shoot myself"

I replied: "You said that five minutes ago."

And that's when the fight started....

Why doesn't Santa have any children?

Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.

What's more profitable, a 1-story whore house or a 2-story whore house?

A 1-story... no fucking overhead.