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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

A Golden Combination

Hits: 2657

What's the best thing about a blow job?

Ten minutes of silence!

Depends on How You Like It

Hits: 2857

What's the difference between medium and rare?

6 inches is medium, 8 inches is rare.

Are Those Brand New Hardwood Floors?

Hits: 3052

How are women like hardwood floors?

You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.

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The Dangers of Modern Technology

A guy gets a text from his neighbor, "I'm really sorry Harry. I've been saddled with so much guilt that I have to confess. I've been tapping your wife day and night when you're not home. In fact, probably a lot more than you. I don't get it at home, but that's no excuse. I just can't deal with the guilt any more ... I hope you'll accept my apology and my promise that it won't happen again."

Furious, the guy grabs his gun, storms into his wife's bedroom and shoots her dead.

A few minutes later, he gets another text: "Fucking auto-correct. I meant wifi, not wife."

Going Down Under And Not Coming Back

A guy says, "For our Twentieth Anniversary, I'm taking my wife to Australia."

His friend says, "That's going to be tough to beat. What're you going to do for your Twenty-Fifth Anniversary?"

The first guy says, "I'm going to go back and get her."

 

In Time For Windows 10

Why is sex like Microsoft Windows?

For everyone who pays for it, there are hundreds getting it free.