Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave?

A microwave doesn't brown your meat!

I used to get a hard-on just watching my wife eat a banana.

Now I only get a hard-on if she's choking on it.

What did the fresh egg say to the boiling water when the farmer's wife dropped it in?

Don't expect me to get hard so fast... I just got laid by some chick a minute ago.

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Why are women like a storm door?

The more you bang 'em ... the looser they get.

And once that happens ... not even a longer screw can fix it.

I asked my wife to give me a blow job. She said "Can't you be more romantic?"

So I told her "Sure, give me a blow job... in the rain."

And that's when the fight started...

How do you get a really fat girl into your bed?

Piece of cake.

Ewwww