What's better than a rose on your piano?
Tulips on your organ.
What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?
A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.
Cop pulls a guy over at 3am: "Where you going at this hour?"
Guy says: "To a lecture on alcohol abuse, its effect on the human body. And the dangers of smoking & staying out late."
"Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"
"My wife."
How do you know when you are getting old?
When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
