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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

The Smelliest Common Denominator

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What do a gynecologist & a pizza delivery boy have in common?

They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

I Came All Over That Place

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Last night, I finally realized a longtime fantasy... I came all over my girlfriend's face.

Man, was she pissed when she woke up.

That's The Whole Point

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What does a virgin and a balloon have in common?

One prick and it's all over.

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Thanksgiving Has A Whole New Meaning

One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting. Later, he asked what "bitch" and "bastard" mean. They explained that they mean "lady" and "gentleman."

The next day, he overheard his parents having sex. He later asked what "penis" and "vagina" mean. His parents explained that they refer to "hats" and "coats."

At supper the next day, Little Johnny's mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled, "Oh f**k!" Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means "cut."

A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, "Hello bitches and bastards! Hurry up with your penises and vaginas -- we can't wait to f**k the turkey!"

Women Are Emotional

My wife told me I should be more affectionate.

So I told her I got a girlfriend.

And that's when the fight started...

What's Cookin'

What do lesbians cook for dinner?

They don't cook... they eat out.