Out For A Drive

"Was your car ride with Grandma fun?"

"No Grampa. We didn't see any assholes, dumb bastards or shitheads."

Why does the bar association forbid lawyers & clients from having sex?

To prevent them from billing twice for essentially the same service.

Wife walks into the den & asks: "What's on the TV?"

I told her "Dust!"

And that's when the fight started...

Why is a pussy like the weather?

Because once it's wet, you know it's time to go inside.