Out For A Drive

: Created: 12 August 2017; Hits: 2444

"Was your car ride with Grandma fun?"

"No Grampa. We didn't see any assholes, dumb bastards or shitheads."

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Celebrate Good Times, Come On.

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table. The wife asks, “Do you know her?”

“Yes,” sighs the husband, “She’s my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”

“My God!” says the wife, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long.”

Just Doesn't Measure Up

My wife and I were on a road trip and I asked her to help navigate, So of course she couldn't quite figure out how to use the map. Frustrated I asked her, "Why can't women read maps?"

She snapped back, "Because only a man can relate to the concept of 1 inch equals a mile."

And that's when the fight started...

Always Bet On Black

What do you call a black man who flies a plane?

A pilot you racist bastard.