Out For A Drive

"Was your car ride with Grandma fun?"

"No Grampa. We didn't see any assholes, dumb bastards or shitheads."

The other day my wife asked me to talk to her like she was special.

So I said, "Gooooo ... maaaaake ... meeeee ... aaaaa ... cuuuuup ... offfff ... coffeeeee"

And that's when the fight started...

Man is incomplete until he’s married.

Then he’s finished.

What did one tampon say to the other?

Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.