Tough To Find Good Help

Maid: "I want a raise. I fuck better than you."

Wife: "My husband said that?"

"No, all the landscapers."

Here's Dick Johnson's secret to a happy marriage.

Two times a week, my wife and I go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

The laundromat: a bad place to find chicks.

If she can't afford a washing machine how can she support you?

What do women and milk cartons have in common?

You gotta open the flaps to get to the good stuff.