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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

The Doctor Has News For You!

Created: 13 September 2017
Hits: 2506

Guy goes to his doctor for a checkup. After, they sit down in a private office to discuss the results. The doc starts with: "I have good news and I have bad news."

The guy says: "Give me the bad news doc." The doctor replies: "You've got cancer!"

The guy is shocked, but quickly asks: "So what's the good news?"

The doctor looks him in the eye and tells him: "I'm fucking the receptionist."

Not So Bon Vivant

Created: 10 September 2017
Hits: 3310

What do you call a guy who expects to get laid on the second date?

Slow.

Divide and Conquer

Created: 09 September 2017
Hits: 3471

1/3 of women not interested in sex. Me too. The 1/3 from the neck up...meh. From the tits down? I'm in.

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Next Stop Willoughby

Little Johnny was in the kitchen playing with his toy train while his dad was cooking dinner. Johnny stops the train at the station and says, "All of you bastards who want to get off, you're here, so get the fuck off. And you dirt bags waiting to board, get your asses on now or we leave without you!"

"Little Johnny!" shouted his father. "I can't believe you are using that kind of language! You should be ashamed of yourself! Go to your room and don't come back until you have thought about what you've done!"

So Little Johnny goes to his room and about an hour later he returns. Once again he starts playing with his toy train, only this time when he comes to the stop at the station he says, "All of you fine ladies and gentlemen who want to get off, you've arrived at your destination, you may now exit the train. And all of you nice people who are are waiting to get on, welcome aboard! As for anyone who has a problem with the one hour delay, take it up with the asshole in the kitchen!"

UFO Spotted

Want to see flying saucers?

Head over to the all-night diner and grab the waitress by the ass.

Can You Build Things? Check Your Mail!

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'

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