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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

The Doctor Has News For You!

Created: 13 September 2017
Hits: 2561

Guy goes to his doctor for a checkup. After, they sit down in a private office to discuss the results. The doc starts with: "I have good news and I have bad news."

The guy says: "Give me the bad news doc." The doctor replies: "You've got cancer!"

The guy is shocked, but quickly asks: "So what's the good news?"

The doctor looks him in the eye and tells him: "I'm fucking the receptionist."

Not So Bon Vivant

Created: 10 September 2017
Hits: 3371

What do you call a guy who expects to get laid on the second date?

Slow.

Divide and Conquer

Created: 09 September 2017
Hits: 3540

1/3 of women not interested in sex. Me too. The 1/3 from the neck up...meh. From the tits down? I'm in.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Call The Coroner

How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.

What Rhymes With Hibernation?

It's the spring, and the baby bear comes out of his cave. His knees are wobbling, he's a wreck. He's skin and bones, with big circles under his eyes.

His mother says, "Junior! Did you hibernate all winter like you were supposed to?"

He says, "Hibernate? Shit! I thought you said masturbate!"

Can't We All Just Get Along?

Peace comes at a price. If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, there would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage.

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