Dick Jokes
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A lady goes into a sporting goods store and tells the salesman, "I need a present for my son's birthday."
The salesman suggests, "How about this skateboard?"
She asks, "How much?" He says, "Forty-nine ninety-five." She says, "Too much."
Then he suggests, "How about this baseball bat?" She asks, "How much?" He says, "Eight ninety-five."
She says, "Great, I'll take it."
He then asks, "You wanna ball for the bat?"
She says, "No ... but I'll blow you for the skateboard."
- Hits: 2956
A woman's in labor. She's got her feet up in the stirrups, screaming in pain and cursing her husband.
He turns and says, "Hey, don't blame me. I wanted to stick it in your ass, but you said, 'No, that'll hurt.' "
- Hits: 7053
What's the difference between a pickpocket and a Peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.