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High art... from a low place.

Shocked For The Wrong Reason

Created: 01 August 2017
Hits: 2647

Preparing the body of old man Johnson, a mortician finds the largest penis he has ever seen. "I'm sorry" he says out loud, "But I can't send you off to be cremated and lose forever such a rare and enormous dick like yours. It has to be preserved for posterity."

So the mortician carefully removes the giant organ, places it in a jar and puts the jar in his briefcase. When he gets home, he's excited to show the rare sight to his wife. "Look here honey, I have something to show you that will shock you." he tells her as he removes the jar from his briefcase.

"Oh my God!" the wife screams, "Johnson's dead!"

More Reliable Than A Pulse

Created: 28 July 2017
Hits: 2871

How do you know if your wife's dead?

You stick your dick in her mouth and she doesn't turn her head.

Ten Items or Less

Created: 26 July 2017
Hits: 3011

Gal to cashier: "I'm in a hurry, can you please check me out?"

Clerk looks her up & down: "Nice tits, babe!"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Advice For Newlyweds

Keep this in mind... a honeymoon should only be for six days. Why? Because seven days make a whole week.

In fact, don't go on your honeymoon for longer than 5 days, or you will get a weak end.

Just sayin'...

Drop The Coin Right Into The Slot

A couple is in divorce court to decide on custody of their child. The judge asks each one to give a reason why they should be the one to keep the child.

The wife says, "Well I carried this child around in me for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process. This is my child and a part of me." Then the judge turns to the husband and asks the same question.

The husband replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out. Now, tell me, who does the drink belong to -- me or the machine"

Take A Good Look

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

Breasts don't have eyes.

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