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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Shocked For The Wrong Reason

Created: 01 August 2017
Hits: 2631

Preparing the body of old man Johnson, a mortician finds the largest penis he has ever seen. "I'm sorry" he says out loud, "But I can't send you off to be cremated and lose forever such a rare and enormous dick like yours. It has to be preserved for posterity."

So the mortician carefully removes the giant organ, places it in a jar and puts the jar in his briefcase. When he gets home, he's excited to show the rare sight to his wife. "Look here honey, I have something to show you that will shock you." he tells her as he removes the jar from his briefcase.

"Oh my God!" the wife screams, "Johnson's dead!"

More Reliable Than A Pulse

Created: 28 July 2017
Hits: 2850

How do you know if your wife's dead?

You stick your dick in her mouth and she doesn't turn her head.

Ten Items or Less

Created: 26 July 2017
Hits: 2988

Gal to cashier: "I'm in a hurry, can you please check me out?"

Clerk looks her up & down: "Nice tits, babe!"

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All Roads Lead to the Bar

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, please”.

Late But On Time

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at five o'clock in the morning?"

"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."

And that's when the fight started...

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