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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Shocked For The Wrong Reason

Created: 01 August 2017
Hits: 2644

Preparing the body of old man Johnson, a mortician finds the largest penis he has ever seen. "I'm sorry" he says out loud, "But I can't send you off to be cremated and lose forever such a rare and enormous dick like yours. It has to be preserved for posterity."

So the mortician carefully removes the giant organ, places it in a jar and puts the jar in his briefcase. When he gets home, he's excited to show the rare sight to his wife. "Look here honey, I have something to show you that will shock you." he tells her as he removes the jar from his briefcase.

"Oh my God!" the wife screams, "Johnson's dead!"

More Reliable Than A Pulse

Created: 28 July 2017
Hits: 2868

How do you know if your wife's dead?

You stick your dick in her mouth and she doesn't turn her head.

Ten Items or Less

Created: 26 July 2017
Hits: 3005

Gal to cashier: "I'm in a hurry, can you please check me out?"

Clerk looks her up & down: "Nice tits, babe!"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Don't Do This

What do you get when you cross a computer with a prostitute?

A fucking know-it-all.

Why I Really Married You

Jack and his wife lived in Arizona where the summers are very hot. One day they awoke to a particularly severe heat wave. As he stepped out of the shower he complained to his wife saying, “it’s just too hot to wear any clothes on a day like this. What would the neighbors think if I mowed the lawn with no clothes.”

“That I only married you for your money.”

And that's when the fight started...

Liqour In The Front

What do you call two lesbians in a closet?

A liqour cabinet.

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