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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Shocked For The Wrong Reason

Created: 01 August 2017
Hits: 2635

Preparing the body of old man Johnson, a mortician finds the largest penis he has ever seen. "I'm sorry" he says out loud, "But I can't send you off to be cremated and lose forever such a rare and enormous dick like yours. It has to be preserved for posterity."

So the mortician carefully removes the giant organ, places it in a jar and puts the jar in his briefcase. When he gets home, he's excited to show the rare sight to his wife. "Look here honey, I have something to show you that will shock you." he tells her as he removes the jar from his briefcase.

"Oh my God!" the wife screams, "Johnson's dead!"

More Reliable Than A Pulse

Created: 28 July 2017
Hits: 2855

How do you know if your wife's dead?

You stick your dick in her mouth and she doesn't turn her head.

Ten Items or Less

Created: 26 July 2017
Hits: 2994

Gal to cashier: "I'm in a hurry, can you please check me out?"

Clerk looks her up & down: "Nice tits, babe!"

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What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?

Forty-five pounds.

Some Extra Cash

A hooker visits her doctor and asks him to put a hole in her hip.

The doc asks, "Why?"

The hooker tells him, "So I can do a little work on the side."

Count On This Happening

Little Johnny came home and told his mom he got kicked out of mathematics class. His mom asked "What happened."

Little Johnny told her: "The teacher asked me, 'What comes after 69?' Apparently 'mouthwash' was the wrong answer!"

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