Facts Of Life

Little Johnny: "Where do babies come from?"

Mother: "The stork brings them."

Johnny: "Who fucks the stork?"

Sign on the whorehouse door: Out to lunch. Beat it.

Why do only 10 percent of men make it to heaven?

Because if they all went, it would be called hell.

My wife suggested: "Let’s go out and have some fun tonight!"

So I told her: "Sure... but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on."

And that's when the fight started...