Facts Of Life

Little Johnny: "Where do babies come from?"

Mother: "The stork brings them."

Johnny: "Who fucks the stork?"

My wife and I were discussing babies and she had a thought. "Why do doctors spank newborn babies?"

I told her: "To knock the dicks off the stupid ones."

And that's when the fight started...

Valentines Day is going to be great! I'm guaranteed to fuck my wife up the ass tonight.

She's dyslexic and thinks it's Vaseline Day.

A middle-aged guy goes to the proctologist for his yearly checkup. He strips down, and the doctor tells him to bend over.

The doctor puts his middle finger all the way up the guy's ass and says, "Is that uncomfortable?"

The guy says, "Not as long as I don't feel both of your hands on my back."