A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Location, Location, Location

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Teenage daughter after a movie: "Had to change my seat 3 times."

Mom: "Did someone harass you?"

"Finally!"

Won't Be A Starving Artist Much Longer

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Gallery owner: "Guy came in bought all your paintings."

Artist: "Great."

"Not really, he was your doctor."

More Than One Way To Please

Hits: 3131

The masochist begs: "Beat me, beat me."

The sadist smiles and says: "Nooooo!"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

You've Heard It Before

A travelling salesman's car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. He gets out and goes to look for help. Soon he comes upon a farm. Not believing his luck, he knocks on the door, and a farmer answers.

"Sir," says the salesman. "Could you help me? My car's broken down, and I need a place to stay for the night."

"Sure," says the farmer. "But I only have one bed, and my very, very ugly daughter sleeps there."

"Oh, crap," says the salesman. "I'm in the wrong fucking joke."

Ahh... The Good Old Days

Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home reminiscing.

The first lady recalled shopping at the grocer and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.

The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper back then, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.

The third old lady remarked, "I can’t hear a word you’re saying, but I remember the guy you’re talking about."

It Only Has to Happen Once

How are blondes like computers?

You never appreciate them until they go down on you.