A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Location, Location, Location

Hits: 2972

Teenage daughter after a movie: "Had to change my seat 3 times."

Mom: "Did someone harass you?"

"Finally!"

Won't Be A Starving Artist Much Longer

Hits: 2843

Gallery owner: "Guy came in bought all your paintings."

Artist: "Great."

"Not really, he was your doctor."

More Than One Way To Please

Hits: 3180

The masochist begs: "Beat me, beat me."

The sadist smiles and says: "Nooooo!"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

How To Score

A guy takes a girl out to dinner for their 1st date. She orders shrimp cocktail, filet mignon - medium rare, a loaded baked potato, the vegetable medley, and crème brulee' for desert. Then before the waiter leaves she adds a bottle of expensive wine.

The guy looks at her and says, "Does your mother feed you like that?"

She says, "No... but my mother's not looking to fuck me."

Always Important To Match

A blonde walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?"

He says, "Why? Are my eyes bulging?"

Best Way To Go

When I die, I want to go like my Grandfather...in his sleep.

Not screaming like the other passengers in his car.