Won't Be A Starving Artist Much Longer

Gallery owner: "Guy came in bought all your paintings."

Artist: "Great."

"Not really, he was your doctor."

What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?

As soon as you see it coming you know someone is going to lose a trailer.

I asked my wife if we should get a pet for around the house.

She said she already has all the pets she needs: A mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed, and a jackass to pay for everything.

And that's when the fight started...

My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.

When I came back she asked what did I get. I told her I got drunk.

And that's when the fight started...