A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Location, Location, Location

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Teenage daughter after a movie: "Had to change my seat 3 times."

Mom: "Did someone harass you?"

"Finally!"

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Don't Do This

What do you get when you cross a computer with a prostitute?

A fucking know-it-all.

Good Advice

I'm feeling a bit more mature these days so I wasn't embarrassed walking into the drug store to buy condoms. That is, until the woman behind the counter advised me, 'Save your money -- buy a lottery ticket.'

Not Quite A Dozen Roses

My wife and I went to counseling to improve our marriage. While attending one session dealing with communication, the counselor instructed: "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

Looking at me she said: "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"

I looked over, touched my wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?"

And that's when the fight started...