Location, Location, Location

Teenage daughter after a movie: "Had to change my seat 3 times."

Mom: "Did someone harass you?"

"Finally!"

What's the difference between meat and chicken?

If you beat your chicken, it dies.

Why did Santa get arrested?

He got caught laying Barbie under the Christmas tree!

What do you have with two balls in your hand?

A man's undivided attention.