Location, Location, Location

Teenage daughter after a movie: "Had to change my seat 3 times."

Mom: "Did someone harass you?"

"Finally!"

How is Santa Claus like a smart blonde?

They both don't exist!

Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?

They're too bitter.

Husband says to his wife, "Here's 2 aspirin & a glass of water for your headache."

"I don't have a headache." His wife tells him

"Good. Now strip. We're fucking."