Location, Location, Location

Teenage daughter after a movie: "Had to change my seat 3 times."

Mom: "Did someone harass you?"

"Finally!"

Here at Dick Joke of the Day we are thinking about selling our own brand of T-Shirts.

They'll read: "LIFE'S A DICK. WHEN IT GETS HARD, FUCK IT!"

You know what happens when you stop believing in Santa Claus?

You start getting clothes for Christmas.

Why does the bar association forbid lawyers & clients from having sex?

To prevent them from billing twice for essentially the same service.