The masochist begs: "Beat me, beat me."
The sadist smiles and says: "Nooooo!"
What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?
Because women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.
A couple comes up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish, and throws in a penny. His wife decides to make a wish, too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well, and drowns.
The guy says, "Fuck...it works."
