The masochist begs: "Beat me, beat me."
The sadist smiles and says: "Nooooo!"
What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean.
A good start.
My wife caught me measuring my dick and snickered: "So how long is it?"
I told her: "Long enough to reach the back of your sister's throat!"
And that's when the fight started...
Basically there are 5 kinds of sex:
Smurf Sex - On your honeymoon you keep doing it until you're both blue in the face.
Kitchen Sex - At the beginning of your marriage you'll have sex anytime, anywhere - even in the kitchen.
Bedroom Sex - When you've settled down a bit, maybe have some kids, so you gotta restrict it to the bedroom.
Hallway Sex - You reach the point where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Fuck you!"
Courtroom Sex - Finally, you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of the whole courtroom.
