The masochist begs: "Beat me, beat me."
The sadist smiles and says: "Nooooo!"
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look too big.
I told her not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.
And that's when the fight started...
A guy was organizing his cards for Valentine's Day and realized he made a huge mistake!
"For fucks sake, what a mess to sort out. I can't believe I've mixed their Valentine's Day cards up.
The girlfriend now thinks I love her and the wife thinks I want to fuck her."
After a night of drinking, drugs and wild sex, I woke up to find myself next to a really ugly woman.
That's when I realized I made it home safely.
