Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

2 reasons I know I'm getting old. My memory's not as sharp as it once was & my memory's not so good anymore.

A guy walks into a bar, orders 12 shots & starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender asks, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast, too, if you had what I had." The bartender asks, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

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What's the best part of gardening?

Getting down and dirty with my hoes.

What two things can get a woman pregnant when they're in the air?

Her feet.

Old Dick is always willing to help a guy score with a great pickup line. Here's one you can try:

"I'd like to point out that 'beautiful' has 'u' in it. But, 'quickie' has u & i together."

You're welcome.

Sign Of The Times