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PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Sign Of The Times

Created: 21 August 2017
Hits: 1967

2 reasons I know I'm getting old. My memory's not as sharp as it once was & my memory's not so good anymore.

The Race Is On

Created: 20 August 2017
Hits: 2021

A guy walks into a bar, orders 12 shots & starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender asks, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast, too, if you had what I had." The bartender asks, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."

Easy Solution

Created: 18 August 2017
Hits: 2246

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Going Down?

I think I got beat up pretty bad last night. I remember getting on the elevator at my office and running into this gorgeous secretary with big tits. I couldn't help staring at her while the elevator door closed, but didn't start up. She said: "Would you please press one?"

So I did. I don't remember much after that...

Tastes Like Chicken

What is the difference between erotic and kinky?

Erotic is when you use a feather on her... kinky is when you use the whole chicken.

At Least Take A Lunch Break

A woman asks her husband if he’d like some breakfast. "Would you maybe like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast? Grapefruit and coffee?" He declines. "It’s this Viagra," he says, "It’s really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime, she asks if he would like something. "A bowl of homemade soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?" she inquires. He declines. "It’s this Viagra," he says, "it’s really taken the edge off my appetite."

Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. She tells hum "I’ll go to the store and buy you whatever you want. Maybe a steak and apple pie? Maybe a pizza or a tasty stir-fry that would only take a couple of minutes?" And once again he declines. "It’s this Viagra," he says, "it’s really taken the edge off my appetite."

"Well," she says, "would you mind letting me up? I’m fuckin' starving."

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