Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

2 reasons I know I'm getting old. My memory's not as sharp as it once was & my memory's not so good anymore.

A guy walks into a bar, orders 12 shots & starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender asks, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast, too, if you had what I had." The bartender asks, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

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My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I told him, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!"

Then I unplugged his life support.

A man calls his wife into the bedroom. "I want to show you the new watch I got today."

She walks in and finds him with his pants down. "That's not a watch!" she says.

"It will be once you put two hands and a face on it."

So I went to the doctor for a physical and he told me I should stop jerking off. I asked him why should I stop?

He told me: "Because you're at a physical."

Sign Of The Times