A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Sign Of The Times

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2 reasons I know I'm getting old. My memory's not as sharp as it once was & my memory's not so good anymore.

The Race Is On

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A guy walks into a bar, orders 12 shots & starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender asks, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast, too, if you had what I had." The bartender asks, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."

Easy Solution

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Where Shall We Go?

My wife wanted to go on a pleasure trip.

I told her:  "Great, let's take your mother to the airport."

And that's when the fight started...

Mowing The Lawn

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the bike, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.."

And that's when the fight started...

How To Spend a Fun Afternoon

A cop pulls a guy over with a pickup truck full of penguins. He says:"You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately." The guy says OK, and drives off.

The next day, the cop sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, only now they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over again and barks at him: "I thought I told you yesterday to take these penguins to the zoo?"

The guy answers back: "I did ... today we're going to the beach!"