Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

2 reasons I know I'm getting old. My memory's not as sharp as it once was & my memory's not so good anymore.

A guy walks into a bar, orders 12 shots & starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender asks, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast, too, if you had what I had." The bartender asks, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

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How did Pinocchio find out he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.

Girl texts: "If you're sleeping, send your dreams ... if you're laughing, send your smile."

Boyfriend texts back: "Taking a shit... Please advise."

The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!"

Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

Sign Of The Times