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Just Plain Funny

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In Any Language

Created: 31 August 2017
Hits: 2868

What do the aborigine call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.

There's A Card For Everything

Created: 29 August 2017
Hits: 2839

Hallmark Card fail:

"My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. Looked underneath and noticed your cat."

A Change of Habit

Created: 27 August 2017
Hits: 3143

Topless babe walks up to 2 guys on the beach wearing Hawaiian shirts. They look her up and down and smile. She smiles back and says: "Hello, Fathers."

One guy asks her: "How did you know we're priests?"

"I'm Sister Mary Kathryn. We take vacations, too."

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Surgeons prefer operating on politicians.

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Not So Difficult After All

Lifehack: How do you find a needle in a haystack?

Easy... burn the fuckin' hay! Any more questions?

I Got More Important Things To Do

Joe gets a ticket to the Super Bowl from his company, but when he gets there, the seat is in the last row way back in the corner of the stadium.

Halfway through the first quarter, Joe sees through his binoculars an empty seat ten rows off the field, right on the fifty-yard line. He decides to take a chance, and makes his way around the security guards to the empty seat.

As he sits down, Joe says to the guy sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anybody sitting here?"

The guy says, "No."

Joe says, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl and not use it?"

The guy says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't seen together since we got married in 1967."

Joe says, "That's really sad. But couldn't you find anyone to take the seat? A friend, or a close relative?"

The guy says, "No, they're all at the funeral."

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