Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Why do blondes wear underwear?

To keep their ankles warm.

Your wife & your lawyer are drowning, so you have to choose. What do you do: go to lunch or catch a movie?

A guy goes into a bank for a business loan.

The bank manager says, "What kind of business do you want to start?"

The guy says, "I have some black powder. You sprinkle it on pussy and it makes it taste like a peach."

The bank manager says, "I'm afraid we're not interested."

A few months later the guy walks into the bank pushing a wheel barrel full of money.

The bank manager says, "I see that idea for black powder really paid off."

The guy says, "Nah, that didn't go anywhere. I made my money with this white powder."

The bank manager says, "What does it do?"

The guy says, "Give me a peach and I'll show you."

My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.

I'm not some kind of stud.

I'm a lazy bastard postman.