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PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

A Hobby For My Old Age

Created: 28 June 2019
Hits: 2486

A doctor examining a little old man tells him, "You're suffering from exhaustion. How often do you have sex?"

​The old guy says, "Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday."

The doc says, "Well, that could be the problem. Maybe you should try eliminating Wednesdays."

The old guy replies, "I can't, Doc. That's the only night I go home."

Not Even GPS Will Help

Created: 06 May 2019
Hits: 2217

A drunk walking home one night staggers into a tree. He backs up, takes a step, and runs into the tree again.

Two more times he bumps into the tree, then curses: "Great. I shoulda been home 2 hours ago, and here I am lost in the damn forest."

Promise Kept

Created: 10 April 2019
Hits: 3055

A woman at the Pearly Gates asks St. Peter, "Is my husband here? My name is Johnson." St. Peter says, "Well, that's not enough information."

​She says, "OK... his name is Dick Johnson and he told me that after he died, if I was ever unfaithful, he'd roll over in his grave."

​St. Peter says, "Oh .. you mean Pinwheel Johnson!"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

She Met Her Prince Charming

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

Gagged!

Ask and You Shall Receive

Guy walks into a bar. Bartender asks: "What'll you have buddy?" The guys says: "Surprise me."

So the bartender pulls out a naked picture of the guy's wife!

Karma Is A Bitch

A woman yells out, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight, you pig!" Everyone in the bar stops and stares. Completely embarrassed, the guy slinks back to his table with a red face.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. I'm a graduate student in psychology, and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing public situations."

To which the guy responds as loudly as possible, "What do you mean $200 for a blowjob?"

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